15. Some People Think He Was Black
Recording devices two-thousand years ago were crude, to say the
least. I don’t even think that by the Middle Ages people had figured out
to represent perspective using shadows and sizes, which is why all the
art from back then is flat and large. Most of the images we have today
of Jesus Christ are Eurocentric imaginations of him as having lily-white
skin and blond corkscrew curls. But remember that Bible stories were
not happening in Bavaria, they were happening the Middle East. The
argument is that the ancient Israelites were the descendants of a Black
African people.
14. There Are Many Gods Born on “Christmas”
The Roman Sun god Sol Invictus.
The Persian god of light Mithra.
The Egyptian solar deity Horus.
The Japanese sun goddess Amaterasu.
These are just some of the other deities who have been celebrated on
December 25th. The mythical day in December has actually been used for
millennia as a sacred and spiritual time of the year. Before the
monotheistic conception of God, people thought that there were many Gods
all around us (and that they were smallminded, squabbling, and
vindictive!) They conceptualized the progression of the year as the
night trying to beat down the sun (winter), and then the sun vanquishing
over the darkness. December 25th coincides roughly with the winter
solstice, after which days only get longer until June. They therefore
thought that Dec. 25th was the day the sun won; a time for celebration.
13. He Was A Jew
Try telling your grandma this one and she’ll tell you to shut your
blaspheming mouth, but it’s undeniably true. He was obviously religious,
he hailed from
Judea, and there was only really one
religion at the time… Judaism. As Shaye I.D. Cohen, Samuel Ungerleider
Professor of Judaic Studies and Professor of Religious Studies Brown
University, says: “Of course, Jesus was a Jew. He was born of a Jewish
mother, in Galilee, a Jewish part of the world. All of his friends,
associates, colleagues, disciples, all of them were Jews. He regularly
worshipped in Jewish communal worship, what we call synagogues. He
preached from Jewish text, from the Bible. He celebrated the Jewish
festivals. He went on pilgrimage to the Jewish Temple in Jerusalem where
he was under the authority of priests…. He lived, was born, lived,
died, taught as a Jew.” To call him Christian would be an anachronism,
because Christianity as we know it only really gelled after Jesus was
crucified.
12. He Was 33 When He Died
Again, it’s hard to tell with sources from so long ago, when most
people were illiterate and didn’t have the capacity to keep track of
things like we do today. But common speculation puts Jesus at about 33
years old when he was killed on the Cross. He was around the same age as
Marilyn Monroe was when she died, which further compounds my argument
that celebrities are the Gods of today, but that’s not important right
now. In Luke 3:23, it says Jesus began his ministry when he was about
thirty years old. John mentions three, maybe four passovers, before
Jesus was crucified. This would locate him at around thirty-three years
old, with a few years of wiggle room in either direction.
11. “Christ” Was Not His Last Name
via fivestonesandasling.com
Jesus’s last name was not “Christ” — this is a word meaning “anointed
one” or “Messiah”. His last name (to put it in terms we understand
today; their system of naming wasn’t exactly like ours today) was
technically “Of Nazareth”, making his full name “Jesus of Nazareth”.
Nazareth is a little town located in Northern Israel, known as Israel’s
“Arab Capital” because of the large presence of Arabic peoples. Although
many of you might already know this, I’ve heard: “Did you know Christ
wasn’t his last name?” enough times to include it.
10. Crucifixion Was Quite Common
As is often represented in popular media, Jesus was alone up on the
cross getting whipped and flagellated to death. Many people might think
he was the first and only one to ever be crucified. But crucifixion was a
pretty common method of punishment back in those heathen days. Romans
had been using the method for at least seventy years before the Son of
God came along. In 40 BC, a historian recorded that 2,000 people were
crucified in a single day, all for the pleasure of Quintillius Varius.
Forty years following the death of Jesus, another 500 people were killed
in one day, some even believe 500 a day for multiple days. If think
about it, it was a gruesome method of torture, so why would they only
save it for one person (in a time where they loved to torture).
9. The Romans Crucified Him
Another common belief is that Jesus was killed by Jews. This is a
commonly repeated fact in anti-Semitic discourse. But it isn’t totally
true. Historically speaking, it’s much more likely that the Romans
killed Jesus Christ than the Jews. First, as we’ve seen, they were
already using Crucifixion as a means of social control. Furthermore, at
the time of his death, Jerusalem was Roman occupied and controlled. That
means the Romans governed the place. Jesus, charismatic agitator that
he was, would’ve been a force for social upheaval, meaning the
government would’ve wanted to snuff him out. So it did.
8. He Wasn’t Born In A Manger
It’s a tale as old as time (almost literally): there was no more room
in the inn, so Mary gave birth to Jesus in a stable, full of smelly,
unholy animals. But theologian Rev. Ian Paul thinks this is based on an
oft-repeated misreading of the New Testament. He argues that Mary and
Joseph were probably at the house of relatives, and if there was a
manger, it would be the downstairs part of most of the day’s Palestinian
houses, where the animals were kept. In other words, the holy mother
did not not seek shelter in an entirely detached barn. According to
Paul, what makes this interesting is that it breaks down the idea that
Jesus was born to humble, outcast parents. They were among family
relations and friends at the time of his birth
7. The Disciples Might Have Been Teenagers
Picture Jesus’s 12 disciples and what comes to mind? 12 of the
wisest, most self-possessed men in the history of humankind, correct?
Well, it might be time to reassess. Back in antiquity, when lifespans
were pretty short, by the time you were a teenager, you were already
kind of middle aged. In school, which back then mostly consisted of
Bible (i.e. Torah) study, the brightest boys of the class would be
recruited to be the Rabbi’s disciples while the rest of them would go on
to learn a trade. Although some of his disciples had decidedly “grown
up” jobs (tax collector, for instance), some of them could have been
Torah students of mixed backgrounds.
6. The Wisemen Didn’t Show Up The Day He Was Born
Many people believe that three wisemen, with their now widely-known
presents, didn’t actually show up the night that Jesus was born
(although that makes for a much better story, like Ross catching Rachel
right as she’s about to get on a plane for Paris, not phoning her new
French number three weeks later being like: “Hey… I’m still kinda into
you… When will you be back in town? Wanna meet up then?”) Many scholars
believe that they actually met Jesus a year or two after he was born,
not actually at the ‘stable’, but at his family home. Hate to break it
to you, but everything you thought you knew is WRONG.
5. He Had Brothers And Sisters
Jesus had siblings! Who would’ve thought? It does kind of seem in
traditional scripture that he was a solo operator, but apparently
historians have discovered some other scampy “of Nazareth” children.
Granted, they were just half sisters and half brothers. If Mary is a
Virgin whose only purpose was to have Jesus, then she can’t start having
kids willy nilly like that. They were Joseph’s kids. The boys were
named James, Joseph, Judas, and Simon. The girls, although they are
mentioned, are not named. There are different ways of treating them in
Christian theology. In some early churches, they too were holy figures.
In other Churches, they are discredited as blood relatives, being
thought of as merely close family friends.
4. There Probably Was A Star of Bethlehem
In religious lore, the three wise men notice the star of Bethlehem in
the sky and follow it until they happen upon Jesus’s nativity. Although
that is still a point of contention, many people agree that there
probably was an actual Star of Bethlehem in the sky that night. Some
scholars think that Saturn and Jupiter performed a triple conjuncture,
their respective luminosities merging and creating something extra,
fascinatingly bright. Chinese astronomers have also found references to a
comet in the sky in 5 BC that could’ve also operated as the mythical
Star of Bethlehem.
3. He Had A Wife and Kids
Questions of Jesus’s relationship with Mary Magdalene have been
around for a long time. Some people think she was actually the Virgin
Mary. Some people believe that she was not actually his lover, but a
wealthy widow who wanted to bankroll his cause. And some think that she
was his wife and the mother of his children. In recent years, a new
piece of religious text has emerged from the dusty archives of history. A
new book dubbed it “The Lost Gospel”. This piece of literature claims
that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were in fact married and had several
children. Whether or not this is true has been the subject of debate
forever, but it’s interesting to think that descendants of Jesus could be out there, somewhere.
2. Christmas in January
For most people in the Western world, Christmas is December 25th.
Although there are some disagreements on the best time to open presents
(“CHRISTMAS EVE AT MIDNIGHT!” – “NO. CHRISTMAS MORNING!” – “BEFORE
COFFEE!!” – “NO, AFTER COFFEE!”), we all agree that Christmas happens on
Dec. 24th and Dec. 25th. Well, not Orthodox Christians. In their
tradition, Christmas happens almost two weeks later, on January 7th.
Although I’d love to give some juicy, religious explanation for this,
it’s actually just a matter of different math. Those jurisdictions of
Eastern Orthodox Christianity use the Julian rather than the Gregorian
calendar to mark feasts, calendars which have a 13 day disparity.
1. He Has Been Linked To King David
Allow me to explain: there are many things in the Bible that may seem
vaguely reminiscent. He was born in Bethlehem. He rode a donkey into
town. The palm sunday story, where people waved palm leaves at Jesus as
he entered Jerusalem in celebration of passover. The reason these
details may seem familiar is because they recall King David, the ancient
King of Biblical times. These are also things that have commonly been
cited as happening to him. The reason for this is because King David’s
heirs, according to Jewish traditions, will inherit the Land of Israel.
They are the rightful line of rulers in Jewish tradition. Therefore, in
order to “legitimize” Jesus, they wanted to connect the two of them in
peoples’ minds.
via l
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